If it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad?
Аццкий отжиг. Кто не знает про СГФ, можно начать с этого http://www.diary.ru/~FavoriteLeaf/p150623180.htm А потом залезть на ютуб и найти все, их мало на самом деле. Это очень ржачно!
Эдурдо и СГФЭдурдо и СГФ
Meet Eduardo Saverin from The Social Network. He's about sue his best friend for "everything." This fate could have been avoided . . . if he had a Sassy Gay Friend.
"What are you doing? What? What? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Eduardo blinks at the fashionably-dressed man that has suddenly popped out of nowhere. He's kind of confused as to what's happening, honestly, and the guy just looks completely aghast at . . . Eduardo assumes it's him, because he's the only one in the room right now.
"Uh," Eduardo says, "I'm about to sue my asshole ex-best friend for everything he's got?"
"I think you mean you're going to sue your boyfriend because you're a jealous bitch that can't handle when he makes new friends. Look, honey, I know it's hard to accept because you're dating a socially retarded computer geek, but geeks are allowed to have friends too. You have to let go, otherwise you're an abusive asshole like Edward Cullen."
Eduardo frowns, confused, "Who?"
"Nevermind,"
the guy tosses the end of his scarf over his shoulder and sighs dramatically, "Instead of suing your boyfriend and causing unnecessary unresolved sexual tension, you're going to go buy him a new MacBook and apologize for being a jealous bitch. PS, you are really rocking the Prada."
"Really?" Eduardo looks himself over, "I just got it back from the cleaners."
The guy rolls his eyes, "Yes! Oh my god, I can't believe you were going to waste that sitting in a room with terrible lighting all day. You know fluorescent lighting makes your skin look yellow . . . Oh, come on you
stupid bitch. Let's get out of here."
The fashionably-dressed man holds out his hand and, after a moment's hesitation, Eduardo takes it and lets him lead the way the the nearest Apple store. He never wanted to sue Mark for everything anyway, he just wanted Mark to look his way one more time. This was probably a way better idea in the long run, honestly. Before they exit the room, though, the guy looks over his shoulder.
"He's such a stupid bitch."
Eduardo glances over, "Who are you talking to?"
"Oh, no one."
Марк и СГФ ака ДастинМарк и СГФ ака Дастин
“What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing!” Dustin shouts as he pushes open the glass doors with the force of a hurricane. He glares hard at Mark and the papers before him as he tosses the ends of a shiny scarf around his neck with a dramatic flair that is usually only reserved for sassy girls on TV.
Mark on the other hand just blinks before commenting. “Isn’t the Eduardo’s scarf?”
Dustin looks down at the scarf and scoffs. “It totally looks better on me. And anyway that’s so not the point. I believe I already asked but what, what, what are you doing?” And Mark feels he has to raise his eyebrow at the way Dustin was waving his arms like he was doing some horrible dance that the rest of his body didn’t know about.
“I’m working on making this company work. You know, what you’re supposed to be doing?” Mark says, before going back to looking over the papers before him.
Unfortunately for Mark, Dustin is quick and with a fast grab, has the papers in his hand before Mark can read another line. Skimming the pages, Dustin makes a very displeased humph before saying.
“It looks to me like you’re about to screw your boyfriend out of our company.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Mark says indignantly, not bothering to defend the other part.
“But you are trying to screw him out of the company?” Dustin points out, nice enough to not point out how defensive that Mark was about the whole boyfriend thing, mostly because he feels it’s pretty obvious.
Mark sighs. “He’s not right as CFO. He’s not here. He’s not right for the company. He froze the accounts. If we want facebook to grow…”
“Slow down, crazy, slow down.” Dustin says, holding his hand up. “Have you,
I don’t know, thought about why he might have frozen your accounts?”
Mark frowns, “he said he wanted to get my attention. If he wanted my attention he could have just come out here.”
Dustin signs and rubs his forehead, only Eduardo is built for dealing with Mark for long periods of time. “Like you would have gotten away from Sean and your computer long enough to give him the attention he wants.
“What do you mean?” Mark snaps back.
Dustin puts his hands together, pursing his lips slightly. “Eduardo wants you attention. Do you have any idea why?” Mark shrugs. “Of course you don’t, because you spend twenty hours a day in front of a computer, four
hours sleeping, and the other two hours worshiping the temple of Sean…”
“Dustin there are only twenty four hours in a day.” Mark points out rolling his eyes.
Dustin in return just waves his hand. “Details. My point is, Sean is hot. But so is Eduardo. Only Eduardo is less of a dick and he gave you $19,000. I mean, seriously, people don’t just give people that much money without expecting something in return. And by something I mean at least a blow job. “
Mark frowns. “You don’t think he actually wanted me to give him a blow job?”
“Of course he wanted a blow job, everybody wants blow job, but I’m pretty sure he would have settled for just giving you one, which so isn’t fair.”
“Still,” Mark says, “He’s not right for facebook. He’s not good at his job.”
“Then give him a different job, maybe your personal stress reliever slash boyfriend.” Dustin suggests.
“What do you mean stress reliever?”
“Mark, honey, there are a lot of things computers can do for you. But they can’t have sex with you. You need people for that. And it’s easier just to have a boyfriend than pick up some random person at the bar.
Sometimes they’re into some really kinky shit like this one time this girl…”
This time Mark holds up his hand. “Ew, don’t need to hearthat. And anyway I’m working on a program to simulate those feelings.”
Dustinpauses for a moment. “I’m either intrigued by that idea or disturbed. For the sake of this argument I’m going to go with disturbed. My point is, can a computer give you a blow job? Can you fuck a computer? Actually there’s probably a porn of that. But would you really want to fuck a computer? If you cum in it, it’d be ruined and you’d lose all your work. Look at your life, look at your choices.”
Mark pauses, looking at the papers still in Dustin’s hands. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should stop listening to your Justin Timberlake wannabe and hop a plane to New York, tell Eduardo you were an obvious idiot and then fuck his brains out. Or he can fuck your brains out. Whatever you
prefer as long as there is a lot of fucking. And then you can get him to come out here and then we can all be one big happy family.” Dustin says, clapping with excitement at the end. “Oh and you should totally get a new outfit somewhere between here and fucking Eduardo because that,” Dustin says, gesturing up and down to his outfit, “looks like you won it off some homeless guy. Ew.”
Looking at the papers and then at Dustin, Mark nods. “You’re right. I’m going to go get laid.” Mark says determinedly as he starts shoving his things into his bag. “Remind me to give you a raise when I get back.” He says as he walks out the door.
“He’s a stupid bitch.” Dustin says fondly. As he watches Mark walk away.
http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/3654.html?thread=5546310#t5546310
Эдурдо и СГФЭдурдо и СГФ
Meet Eduardo Saverin from The Social Network. He's about sue his best friend for "everything." This fate could have been avoided . . . if he had a Sassy Gay Friend.
"What are you doing? What? What? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Eduardo blinks at the fashionably-dressed man that has suddenly popped out of nowhere. He's kind of confused as to what's happening, honestly, and the guy just looks completely aghast at . . . Eduardo assumes it's him, because he's the only one in the room right now.
"Uh," Eduardo says, "I'm about to sue my asshole ex-best friend for everything he's got?"
"I think you mean you're going to sue your boyfriend because you're a jealous bitch that can't handle when he makes new friends. Look, honey, I know it's hard to accept because you're dating a socially retarded computer geek, but geeks are allowed to have friends too. You have to let go, otherwise you're an abusive asshole like Edward Cullen."
Eduardo frowns, confused, "Who?"
"Nevermind,"
the guy tosses the end of his scarf over his shoulder and sighs dramatically, "Instead of suing your boyfriend and causing unnecessary unresolved sexual tension, you're going to go buy him a new MacBook and apologize for being a jealous bitch. PS, you are really rocking the Prada."
"Really?" Eduardo looks himself over, "I just got it back from the cleaners."
The guy rolls his eyes, "Yes! Oh my god, I can't believe you were going to waste that sitting in a room with terrible lighting all day. You know fluorescent lighting makes your skin look yellow . . . Oh, come on you
stupid bitch. Let's get out of here."
The fashionably-dressed man holds out his hand and, after a moment's hesitation, Eduardo takes it and lets him lead the way the the nearest Apple store. He never wanted to sue Mark for everything anyway, he just wanted Mark to look his way one more time. This was probably a way better idea in the long run, honestly. Before they exit the room, though, the guy looks over his shoulder.
"He's such a stupid bitch."
Eduardo glances over, "Who are you talking to?"
"Oh, no one."
Марк и СГФ ака ДастинМарк и СГФ ака Дастин
“What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing!” Dustin shouts as he pushes open the glass doors with the force of a hurricane. He glares hard at Mark and the papers before him as he tosses the ends of a shiny scarf around his neck with a dramatic flair that is usually only reserved for sassy girls on TV.
Mark on the other hand just blinks before commenting. “Isn’t the Eduardo’s scarf?”
Dustin looks down at the scarf and scoffs. “It totally looks better on me. And anyway that’s so not the point. I believe I already asked but what, what, what are you doing?” And Mark feels he has to raise his eyebrow at the way Dustin was waving his arms like he was doing some horrible dance that the rest of his body didn’t know about.
“I’m working on making this company work. You know, what you’re supposed to be doing?” Mark says, before going back to looking over the papers before him.
Unfortunately for Mark, Dustin is quick and with a fast grab, has the papers in his hand before Mark can read another line. Skimming the pages, Dustin makes a very displeased humph before saying.
“It looks to me like you’re about to screw your boyfriend out of our company.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Mark says indignantly, not bothering to defend the other part.
“But you are trying to screw him out of the company?” Dustin points out, nice enough to not point out how defensive that Mark was about the whole boyfriend thing, mostly because he feels it’s pretty obvious.
Mark sighs. “He’s not right as CFO. He’s not here. He’s not right for the company. He froze the accounts. If we want facebook to grow…”
“Slow down, crazy, slow down.” Dustin says, holding his hand up. “Have you,
I don’t know, thought about why he might have frozen your accounts?”
Mark frowns, “he said he wanted to get my attention. If he wanted my attention he could have just come out here.”
Dustin signs and rubs his forehead, only Eduardo is built for dealing with Mark for long periods of time. “Like you would have gotten away from Sean and your computer long enough to give him the attention he wants.
“What do you mean?” Mark snaps back.
Dustin puts his hands together, pursing his lips slightly. “Eduardo wants you attention. Do you have any idea why?” Mark shrugs. “Of course you don’t, because you spend twenty hours a day in front of a computer, four
hours sleeping, and the other two hours worshiping the temple of Sean…”
“Dustin there are only twenty four hours in a day.” Mark points out rolling his eyes.
Dustin in return just waves his hand. “Details. My point is, Sean is hot. But so is Eduardo. Only Eduardo is less of a dick and he gave you $19,000. I mean, seriously, people don’t just give people that much money without expecting something in return. And by something I mean at least a blow job. “
Mark frowns. “You don’t think he actually wanted me to give him a blow job?”
“Of course he wanted a blow job, everybody wants blow job, but I’m pretty sure he would have settled for just giving you one, which so isn’t fair.”
“Still,” Mark says, “He’s not right for facebook. He’s not good at his job.”
“Then give him a different job, maybe your personal stress reliever slash boyfriend.” Dustin suggests.
“What do you mean stress reliever?”
“Mark, honey, there are a lot of things computers can do for you. But they can’t have sex with you. You need people for that. And it’s easier just to have a boyfriend than pick up some random person at the bar.
Sometimes they’re into some really kinky shit like this one time this girl…”
This time Mark holds up his hand. “Ew, don’t need to hearthat. And anyway I’m working on a program to simulate those feelings.”
Dustinpauses for a moment. “I’m either intrigued by that idea or disturbed. For the sake of this argument I’m going to go with disturbed. My point is, can a computer give you a blow job? Can you fuck a computer? Actually there’s probably a porn of that. But would you really want to fuck a computer? If you cum in it, it’d be ruined and you’d lose all your work. Look at your life, look at your choices.”
Mark pauses, looking at the papers still in Dustin’s hands. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should stop listening to your Justin Timberlake wannabe and hop a plane to New York, tell Eduardo you were an obvious idiot and then fuck his brains out. Or he can fuck your brains out. Whatever you
prefer as long as there is a lot of fucking. And then you can get him to come out here and then we can all be one big happy family.” Dustin says, clapping with excitement at the end. “Oh and you should totally get a new outfit somewhere between here and fucking Eduardo because that,” Dustin says, gesturing up and down to his outfit, “looks like you won it off some homeless guy. Ew.”
Looking at the papers and then at Dustin, Mark nods. “You’re right. I’m going to go get laid.” Mark says determinedly as he starts shoving his things into his bag. “Remind me to give you a raise when I get back.” He says as he walks out the door.
“He’s a stupid bitch.” Dustin says fondly. As he watches Mark walk away.
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